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How to Beat the Survival Game and Achieve
Self Actualization
Copyright (c) 2006 Tom Digges
Optimal Living Resources
I don't know about you, but I spent a lot of years struggling to find a way to
make time for self actualization. It always seemed like survival issues got in
the way and stole all the energy I needed to achieve my higher needs and goals.
I call this syndrome...
Maslow's hierarchy Blues There were other symptoms too. My relationships
suffered because of stress and low energy. I could barely even find time to
learn or study let alone contemplate or meditate. Possibly it was made a little
more difficult by the fact that I had 6 children and because of that my wife
couldn't work much. I also never went to college before starting a family. With
all this working against me how could I achieve self actualization?
My story is a glaring example of what Abraham Maslow, eminent psychologist and
researcher, found when he interviewed people who were self - actualized. He
developed the theory that people have a hierarchy of needs. When a need isn't
met on a lower level, it's much more difficult or even impossible for them to
evolve to more mature or self actualized states. Whether or not the theory of a
"hierarchy" of needs holds true, it seems to be a universal experience that some
needs are more basic than others and when they are not met adequately they
stifle personal growth. Self actualization must stand on a foundation that is
more or less stable. The basic needs are a healthy body, security and satisfying
relationships. To the extent that we are not able to adequately meet these
needs, we are doomed to a treadmill existence. We are trapped in a system that
requires all of our available energy to meet basic needs and none is left for
self actualization. In order to beat this system consider approaching your basic
need aquisition in a way we call Optimal Living. Put simply, Optimal Living
principles help you achieve the most with the least amount of energy. For great
resources on each of the subjects below see the Authors box at the end of the
article. Now let's take a look at these basic physiological needs.
Take Care Of Your Body.
We obviously need to breathe, drink, eat,
sleep and stay warm enough and avoid illness. It would be difficult to put our
attention anywhere else if we didn't have these things in place. These needs can
be met in a minimal (not enough) or extravagant (too much) way. There is also
the optimal way. Consider joining a natural food Co-Op where you can buy
wholesome food at a huge discount at the same time you will meet like minded
friends. This will help you meet your relational needs. When you do it right you
will have a body that will carry you through to the highest level of human
actualization and give you many years of enjoyment instead of pain.
A Roof Over Your Head.
Another physiological need is to have shelter. You can solve your shelter needs
in a lot of ways, some of them painfully expensive. If you want to do this with
the least amount of wasted life energy, try Co-housing. This is where a group of
people are getting together to lower the costs of housing in many creative ways.
You get to maintain your freedom, but live well at the lowest possible cost. Why
do you need a lawn tractor in every garage when you can share one? The
possibilities are endless. There are organizations set up to assist you in
finding the right solution. Try looking up "Co- housing" or "alternative
lifestyle" on the Internet.
Stabilize your financial position.
Security and Safety is the next level of needs
to be met. When your body is OK and you have adequate shelter, you'll be able to
turn your attention to this. How can we create income and financial stability in
an optimal way?
A steady income is paramount and is important if you want to meet any of the
other needs of being a human. Face it, income or money is the medium of exchange
in our society and around the world. If we can't resolve this need, we remain
stuck in many ways. The only alternative is to drop out of society by joining a
commune or monestary. I don't recommend either. I feel that the loss of personal
freedom would hamper my ability to meet the higher needs that exist. There is
also the issue of autonomy which is seriously challenged in these living
situations. So how to develop a steady income that doesn't steel all your energy
and time? Plus how can we avoid the treadmill of 9 to 5 suburban - barely making
it - stressed out existence?
In our effort to obtain financial security we can't give up the ship of our
moral compass. That creates inner conflict. Nor can we throw out the baby with
the bathwater. Finding a right livelihood that creates income and complements
our values is a rare gem. Fortunately, the Internet is making things possible
that couldn't even be dreamed of before the computer / information age. Explore
these possibilities.
Affiliate Programs - are web based businesses that allow you to join up and
promote a product or service for a commission. You can easily find a program
that resonates with you no matter what your interests are. If you want to sell
vitamins and organic foods, you got it. If you want to help people overcome
their issues, build better relationships etc. you got it. Another important
factor to consider is, don't put all your eggs in one basket. Work on creating
multiple self perpetuating streams of income.
Build Healthy Relationships
This could prove to be the most difficult objective in your quest for self
actualization. Relationships have a tendency to press all of our buttons sooner
or later. Knowing what to do with the raw emotions that can arise in
relationships can make or break you. Why do you think the divorce rate is way
above 50%? The dating breakup statistics are even worse. Even getting along with
our children or parents or siblings is a serious challenge. All of this
potential conflict can seriously sap your energy and time.
Relationships are complex. On one hand they meet a basic need of the individual.
On the other hand they provide a continual challenge that either catalyzes our
personal growth or triggers our issues and causes alienation and emotional pain.
Negotiating the perilous waters of relationship is much safer and more rewarding
if we get some genuine quality assistance and guidelines. Don't leave it to
chance, there is plenty of great relationship help on the internet.
Join supportive groups. Find a group that you can feel comfortable and relate
to. The main criteria to look for is their "inclusivity" quotient. Make sure the
group you give your life energy to is not excluding or marginalizing any other
groups or people. The degree to which they accept and appreciate all forms of
truth and expression is the degree to which you will be able to grow with them
and express yourself freely.
Obviously this would not be a fundamentalist "We are the only way" type group.
Think about what type of activities you enjoy, your lifestyle and what you would
like to experience. Find a group or groups that compliment your criteria at the
same time give you opportunity to stretch or challenge yourself. Lots of groups
can be found on the Internet, or in our resource pages.
Optimal Living guarantees maximum "lift off"
from the gravitational pull of the basic physiological needs. By optimal living
I mean that you create a situation that guarantees that these needs are met in
an automatic way. If not automatic, the idea is to obtain what you need with the
least amount of energy necessary. Energy is the commodity of transformation.
Without it you stand still. Gather it, conserve it and use it wisely, and you
create the optimal conditions for real lasting growth.
With the right strategy and by paying attention to the hierarchy of needs, you
can make your way to self actualization a much more pleasant journey. You will
be covering all the bases so you will experience less surprises and setbacks. By
sewing the right seeds, you will also have the energy you need. For a great list
of resources on fulfilling all these human needs in an optimal way, see our
resource site below.
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Go To the GFN resource page:
Optimal Living
Resources
Thomas S Digges is a Life Coach and author.
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